Readers are the best people to fall in LOVE with

Ever finished a book? I mean, truly finished one? Cover to cover. Closed the spine with that slow awakening that comes with reentering consciousness?

You take a breath, deep from the bottom of your lungs and sit there. Book in both hands, your head staring down at the cover, back page or wall in front of you.

You’re grateful, thoughtful, pensive. You feel like a piece of you was just gained and lost. You’ve just experienced something deep, something intimate. (Maybe, erotic?) You just had an intense and somewhat transient metamorphosis.

Like falling in love with a stranger you will never see again, you ache with the yearning and sadness of an ended affair, but at the same time, feel satisfied. Full from the experience, the connection, the richness that comes after digesting another soul. You feel fed, if only for a little while.

This type of reading, according to TIME magazine’s Annie Murphy Paul, is called “deep reading,” a practice that is soon to be extinct now that people are skimming more and reading less.

Readers, like voicemail leavers and card writers, are now a dying breed, their numbers decreasing with every GIF list and online tabloid.

The worst part about this looming extinction is that readers are proven to be nicer and smarter than the average human, and maybe the only people worth falling in love with on this shallow hell on earth.

According to both 2006 and 2009 studies published by Raymond Mar, a psychologist at York University in Canada, and Keith Oatley, a professor of cognitive psychology at the University of Toronto, those who read fiction are capable of the most empathy and “theory of mind,” which is the ability to hold opinions, beliefs and interests apart from their own.

They can entertain other ideas, without rejecting them and still retain their own. While this is supposed to be an innate trait in all humans, it requires varying levels of social experiences to bring into fruition and probably the reason your last partner was such a narcissist.

Did you ever see your ex with a book? Did you ever talk about books? If you didn’t, maybe you should think about changing your type.

It’s no surprise that readers are better people. Having experienced someone else’s life through abstract eyes, they’ve learned what it’s like to leave their bodies and see the world through other frames of reference.

They have access to hundreds of souls, and the collected wisdom of all them. They have seen things you’ll never understand and have experienced deaths of people you’ll never know.

They’ve learned what it’s like to be a woman, and a man. They know what it’s like to watch someone suffer. They are wise beyond their years.

Another 2010 study by Mar reinforces this idea with results that prove the more stories children have read to them, the keener their “theory of mind.” So while everyone thinks their kids are the best, the ones who read have the edge as they truly are the wiser, more adaptable and understanding children.

Because reading is something that molds you and adds to your character. Each triumph, lesson and pivotal moment of the protagonist becomes your own.

Every ache, pain and harsh truth becomes yours to bear. You’ve traveled with authors and experienced the pain, sorrow and anguish they suffered while writing through it. You’ve lived a thousand lives and come back to learn from each of them.

If you’re still looking for someone to complete you, to fill the void of your singly-healed heart, look for the breed that’s dying out. You will find them in coffee shops, parks and subways.

You will see them with backpacks, shoulder bags and suitcases. They will be inquisitive and soulful, and you will know by the first few minutes of talking to them.

They Won’t Talk To You… They’ll Speak To You

They will write you letters and texts in verse. They are verbose, but not in the obnoxious way. They do not merely answer questions and give statements, but counter with deep thoughts and profound theories. They will enrapture you with their knowledge of words and ideas.

According to the study, “What Reading Does For The Mind” by Anne E. Cunningham of the University of California, Berkeley, reading provides a vocabulary lesson that children could never attain by schooling.

According to Cunningham, “the bulk of vocabulary growth during a child’s lifetime occurs indirectly through language exposure rather than through direct teaching.”

Do yourself a favor and date someone who really knows how to use their tongue.

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They Don’t Just Get You… They Understand You

You should only fall in love with someone who can see your soul. It should be someone who has reached inside you and holds those innermost parts of you no one could find before. It should be someone who doesn’t just know you, but wholly and completely understands you.

According to Psychologist David Comer Kidd, at the New School for Social Research, “What great writers do is to turn you into the writer. In literary fiction, the incompleteness of the characters turns your mind to trying to understand the minds of others.”

This is proved over and over again, the more people take to reading. Their ability to connect with characters they haven’t met makes their understanding of the people around them much easier.

They have the capacity for empathy. They may not always agree with you, but they will try to see things from your point of view.

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They’re Not Just Smart… They’re Wise

Being overly smart is obnoxious, being wise is a turn on. There’s something irresistible about someone you can learn from. The need for banter and witty conversation is more imperative than you may believe, and falling in love with a reader will enhance not just the conversation, but the level of it.

According to Cunningham, readers are more intelligent, due to their increased vocabulary and memory skills, along with their ability to spot patterns. They have higher cognitive functions than the average non-reader and can communicate more thoroughly and effectively.

Finding someone who reads is like dating a thousand souls. It’s gaining the experience they’ve gained from everything they’ve ever read and the wisdom that comes with those experiences. It’s like dating a professor, a romantic and an explorer.

If you date someone who reads, then you, too, will live a thousand different lives.

********************** Have a wonderful read *********************

Source: http://elitedaily.com/

How to Be a Good Listener

Edited by anadi_indian@yahoo.co.in, Luke, Nicole Willson, Ben Rubenstein and 140 others

One Methods:Listening Tips

Listening is an essential part of communication and listening is very different from hearing. Not to be mean but, sometimes there are people in the world who are chatterboxes. A chatterbox is a person who can never stop talking. You may be one at times. These types of people talk too much and aren't very good listeners. Reading this article can change that, so read it well! Being a good and patient listener helps you solve many of life's problems and see the world through the eyes of others. It enriches your understanding and expands your capacity for empathy. As simple as listening (and acknowledging) may seem, doing it well, particularly when disagreements arise, takes sincere effort and lots of practice.

Listen or thy tongue will keep thee deaf... - Native American Proverb

Steps

1. 1
   Be a real friend without being judgmental: Place yourself in the other person's shoes. It is easy to get lost in yourself and to only consider the impact of the other person's "telling" on you. But active listening is blocked by your inward thinking. Instead, you must open out and look at the problems from the other person's perspective: and assume that if you had been in their shoes, you would have seen your way through the problem much faster.
   • Remember you have two ears and one mouth for a reason. It is more beneficial to listen then it is to talk. People who listen more are more observant and therefore more thoughtful and have a better understanding of things.
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2. 2
   Have eye contact. Eye contact is important when you are listening. If you give your friend the impression you aren't interested and are distracted, they may never open up to you again. When someone is talking to you, focus directly on their eyes so that they will know with certainty that you are absorbing every single word. Even if the topic is not interesting to you, at least respect and truly listen to what the speaker has to say.
   • Focus your eyes, ears and your thoughts only on him/her and become a good listener. Don't concentrate on thinking about what you will say next, but instead, focus fully on what the other person is saying. (Remember its about them not you)
3. 
   3
   Create a conducive physical and mental space. Remove all distractions and confer all of your attention. Turn off communication devices (including cell phones) and arrange to talk in a place with no distractions. Once you are face-to-face, quiet your mind and open yourself fully to whatever the person might say.
4. 4
   Stop talking and be silent. It might sound obvious and trite, but one of the biggest obstacles to listening is resisting the urge to voice impulse thoughts. Likewise, many people falsely express empathy by sharing similar or allied experiences. Both "gut" responses can be helpful, but they are usually overused and, ultimately, abused.
   • Put aside your own needs, and wait patiently for the other person to unfold their thoughts at their own pace and in their own way.
     
5. 
   5
   Encourage the speaker with body language. Nodding your head will indicate you hear what the speaker is saying, and will encourage them to continue. Adopting body postures, positions and movements that are similar to the speaker (mirroring) will enable the speaker to relax and open up more.
6. 
   6
   Use empathetic sounding back at appropriate intervals during the conversation. It's helpful to "summarize and restate" or "repeat and encourage" the main points.
   • Repeat and encourage: Repeat some things the speaker said and, at the same time, provide positive feedback as encouragement. For example, you might say, "I can see that you didn't enjoy having to take the blame. I wouldn't have either." Go easy with this technique, though. Use the empathetic sound back as a nudge from time-to-time because if you overwork it, you will come across as being patronizing.
   • Summarize and restate: It is highly useful to summarize your understanding of what the "teller" has said and to restate it in your own words. This reassures the speaker that you have truly been listening to what he or she is saying and that you "got it". It also provides the speaker with an opportunity to correct mistaken assumptions and misconceptions on your part.
   • Make sure to leave the door wide open with statements like, "I may be wrong, but..." or "...Correct me if I am wrong." This technique is especially useful when you find yourself getting frustrated or you sense that your listening focus is wavering.
7. 7
   Do not interrupt with what you feel or think about the "telling". Instead, wait for the other person to ask your opinion before breaking the flow of their discourse. Active listening requires the listener to shelve his or her own opinions temporarily and patiently await appropriate breaks in conversation. When the conversation breaks, provide a summary or an empathetic concurrence.
   • Abstain from giving direct advice. Instead, let the individual talk the situation out and find his or her own way. This empowers both the individual and you. It is the course most likely to result in beneficial change and self-understanding for the "teller" and for you.
8. 8
   Ask meaningful and empowering questions. Refrain from probing or putting the other person on the defensive. Rather, aim to use questions as a means by which the speaker can begin to reach his or her own conclusions about the issues being raised.
   • Once you have shown empathetic listening, it is time to move into empowered listening: Re-frame the questions you ask. For example, "You didn't enjoy having to take the blame. But I cannot understand why you feel blamed rather than merely being asked not to do something that way."
     • Wording the question in this manner presents the speaker with a need to respond directly to your lack of grasping something. In the response process, the speaker should begin to move from a more emotional response to a more logical and constructive response.
9. 9
   Wait for the person to open up. In the process of encouraging a constructive response, an active listener must be ever-so-patient and let the speaker acquire his or her full flow of thoughts, feelings and ideas. These may, at first, start as a trickle and the full flow may take a long time to develop.
   • Keep your patience and keep your place in the "teller's" shoes. It sometimes helps to imagine why the "teller" has worked into such a situation.
10. 
    10
    Use Body Language to express your interest. Active listening involves the entire body and face-- both yours and that of the speaker:
    • Your expression: Look interested and meet the gaze of the speaker from time to time. Do not overwhelm the speaker by staring intently, but do reflect friendliness and openness to what you are listening to.
    • Read between the lines: Always be alert for things that have been left unsaid and for cues that can help you gauge the speaker's true feelings. Watch the facial and body expressions of the "teller" to try to gather all information you can, not just from the words. Imagine what kind of state of mind would have made you acquire such expressions, body language and volume.
    • Speak at approximately the same energy level as the other person. This way, they will know that the message is getting through and that there is no need to repeat.
11. 11
    Try to reassure the speaker that all is well. Whatever the conclusion of the conversation, let the speaker know that you have been happy to listen and to be a sounding board.
    • Make it clear that you are open to further discussion if need be, but that you will not pressure him or her at all. In addition, reassure the speaker of your intention to keep the discussion confidential.
    • Be Patient. If you want to say something, wait until he completes what he is saying.
12. 12
    Have empathy while your listening to create a good response
    • Offer to assist with any solutions if you have the ability, time and expertise. Do not build up false hopes, though. If the only resource you can provide is to continue to be an active listener, make that very clear. This, in and of itself, this is an extremely valuable help.
      
13. 13
    Be attentive, even when you really don't care, at least act like it:
    • Use your face,voice and body to show that you are interested in what that person is talking about
    • Listen with an accepting attitude
    • Ask questions which show that you like to listen
    • Use ideas and emotions to try to communicate to the person
    • Test your understanding
14. 14
    Use encouraging words to show you are listening:
    • Mhm
    • I see
    • Right
    • Uh-huh
15. 15
    Use non-verbal actions to show you pay attention to what is being said:
    • Relaxed posture
    • Head-nodding
    • Facial expression
    • Relaxed body expression
    • Smile
16. 16
    Use encouraging words that will invite them to continue:
    • Tell me more
    • Let's talk about it
17. 17
    Caveats (warnings):
    • Do not interrupt
    • Do not interrogate
    • Do not form any response while listening i.e. Keep your mind free from the "fix it" urge
    • Do not change the subject
18. 18
    Avoid phrases like:
    • Are you sure?
    • It's not that bad.
    • Sleep on it. You'll feel better tomorrow.
    • Do not judge.
    • Keep a smile on your face
    • Try to ask gentle questions
    • Try to keep things calm
    • Listen calmly with out any interruption and be silent let them talk you just listen and watch after they finish now you empathsize .

Listening Tips

Active Listening

The Importance of Active Listening In a Friendship

How Friends Can Benefit From Active Listening

In the book The Art of Doing (buy direct) by Camille Sweeney and Josh Gosfield, people in a variety of professions talk about the things that made them successful. Erin Gruwell, the teacher that inspired the movie Freedom Writers shares how active listening changed her ability to understand and relate to her students. The authors say that active listening is "not at all the passive pursuit we may associate with listening. It requires one to listen without judgment, to hear from the speaker's point of view and to let the speaker know you understand the content of what they are saying as well as the feeling behind it."

Active listening can help with your friendships by allowing you to relate to your friend on a whole new level.

How Active Listening Is Different

Since friends (especially those that have been in your life a long time) are familiar to you, chances are you listen differently than you would with someone new or a person you really needed to struggle to understand. Good friends tend to interrupt each other, get the meanings of things without their friends spelling it all out for them, and generally have a shortcut for listening and speaking. That's great most of the time for people who are very close, but when there is a mis-communication that derails your friendship or when you're trying to get to know someone new, active listening will help you get on the same page.

To actively listen to a friend:

·         Get rid of distractions. (No multitasking with reading a menu or looking at your phone while your friend is talking.)

·         Watch for what is said, how it is said, and what's not being said. (Communication is verbal and nonverbal. In order to pick up on the nonverbal, you need to watch as well as listen.)

·         Clear out preconceived notions of what you think your friend is going to say. (This is especially important between people that have known each other a long time, because you've probably heard them talk about things a bunch of times and think you know them. To truly listen, pretend you've just met them.)

·         Before commenting or offering advice, determine if your friend is asking for this. (They might just want to vent and figure it out without your help.)

·         Go with your gut. (Is something off about what your friend is saying? Are they using a tone that isn't like them? Are they failing to mention something but you can't put your finger on it?)

·         Spend some time on reflection. What did you miss when your friend was talking? What was implied?

When to Use Active Listening

It's natural for friends to develop a shortcut with communication after a while, so active listening isn't done every time people talk. However, it's important not to get complacent about communicating with friends. Don't get into such a routine that when your friend really needs you to pay attention she has to ask.

Use active listening when:

·         You're having a lot of small disagreements. This is a sign that someone isn't paying attention.

·         Your friend tells you that you just don't get it.

·         You're confused as to why a friend is acting a certain way.

·         Things have gotten tense in your friendship and you're not sure why.

·         Your friend let you down in some way, and you're asking her to explain why.

Active Listening Lets You Understand Your Friend's Feelings

Many of the misunderstandings between friends happen when one friend is shocked that the other reacted a certain way, or had hurt feelings over something they thought was a small issue. Despite knowing our friends, there are times when we can't comprehend the way they feel. Understanding your friend's emotions behind an issue can help you decipher times when your friend is acting "out of character" (to you, at least) or has behaved in a way that is confusing to you. It helps to be self-aware so you can understand your part in things as well, or at least how you are coming off to your friend.

****  END   ****

A whole new start

 ✩✩  އާ ފެށުމެއް ✩✩

އާ ދުވަހެއްގެ ފެށުން ފެންނަން ފަށައިފިއެވެ. ރަބީޢުލްއާޚިރު މަހުގެ 1 ވަނަ ދުވަހުގެ އިރު ފެނުން ތޮޅިލައިފިކަން ނުފެނުނަސް ޔަޤީނެވެ. ރޭހަތަރުދަމު ނިދާފައި، އިރު އޭގެ އުޖާލާ ކަމާއެކު މޫނު ދިއްކޮށްލައިފިކަން ދަލީލުކޮށްދޭ ދޯދިތައް އުޑުމަތިން ފެންނަން ފަށައިފިއެވެ. ރަން ރީނދޫ ކުލައިން ފަޒާ ޒީނަތްވާން ފަށައިފިއެވެ. އަނދިރިކަމުގެ ތެރެއިން އަލިކަން މަޑުމަޑުން ފާޅުވަމުން އާދެއެވެ. އާ ދުވަހެއްގެ އިރުއެރުމުގެ ނިޝާންތަކެވެ. އުޑުމަތީގައިވާ މަދުމަދު ކަފަ ވިލާކޮޅުތަކުގައިވެސް އިރުގެ ރަން ދަޅަތަކުން ކުލަ ޖެހިފައި ވެއެވެ.

މި މަންޒަރު ސީދާ ލޮލުން ދުށުމުގެ ފުރުސަތަކީ އިރުމަތީ ފަރާތަށް ނުދަނީސް މާލޭގައި އުޅޭ ގިނަ މީހުންނަށް ލިބޭނެ ނަސީބެއް ނޫނެވެ. އެއަށްވުރެ މާލޭގެ ޢިމާރާތްތައް އުސްވެފައި ތޮއްޖެހިއްޖެއެވެ. އޭގެ ތެރޭގައި އަހަރެންވެސް ހިމެނެއެވެ. އާ މަހެއްގެ އާ ދުވަހެއްގެ އިރުއަރައިގެން އައިއިރު އަހަރެން ހުރީ ކޮޓަރީގެ ކުޑަދޮރުކައިރީގައެވެ. ރޭ ހަތަރުދަމު ނުނިދާ ހުރުމުގެ ސަބަބުން ނިދީގެ އަސަރުން ލޯބަރުވަމުން ދިޔައެވެ. ނަމަވެސް އަބަދުވެސް އާދައިގެމަތިން، މިއަދުވެސް، ޤުދުރަތުގެ ރީތި މަންޒަރު ލޮލަށް ފެންނަން ފެށުމުން، ދުވަހަކުވެސް ނުދެކޭ އަޖައިބެއް ފަދައިން ބަލަހައްޓައިގެން ހުރެވުނީއެވެ. ލޮލަށް ފެންނަ ކޮންމެ އެއްޗެއް، ކޮންމެ ތަނެއް ކޮންމެ މަންޒަރެއްގައި ހުވަފެނީ ރީތިކަމެއް ވާތީ ފެނުނެވެ.

އާނއެކެވެ! އާ ދުވަހަކަށް އިރު އަރަނީއެވެ. އާ މަހަކަށެވެ. ގަޑި ބަލާލެވުނެވެ. ބަރާބަރު ހެނދުނު ހަގަޑި ބާވީސް ވީއެވެ.

"ހައްދަވާ ގެންގުޅުއްވާ އިލާހު! މިއަދަކީ އަޅަމެންނަށް ހެޔޮ ރަޙްމަތުން ފުރިގެންވާ ދުވަހެއް ކަމުގައި ލައްވާނދޭވެ.! ކުޅަދުންވަންތަ އިލާހު! އަޅަމެންނަށްޓަކައި މިއަދަކީ ރޯއްޖާއި ބަރަކާތުން ފުރިގެންވާ ދުވަހެއް ކަމުގައި ލައްވާނދޭވެ! އޯގާވަންތަ އިލާހު! މިއަދަކީ އަޅަމެންގެ ހުވަފެންތައް ޙަޤީޤަތަކަށް ހެދުމަށްޓަކައި ކުރެވޭ މަސައްކަތަށް ތައުފީޤާއި ހެޔޮ ދަރުމަ ލިބިގެންވާ ދުވަހެއްކަމުގައި ލައްވާނދޭވެ! އަޅަމެން ކޮންމެ ކަމެއްވެސް ފަށަނީ އިބަ އިލާހުގެ އިސްމުފުޅުންނެވެ. ވަކީލުކޮށް ވާގި އެދެނީ ހަމަ އެކަނި އިބައިލާހުގެ ހަޟްރަތުންނެވެ. އަޅަމެންގެ މަސައްކަތުގައި ބަރަކާތް ލައްވާނދޭވެ! އާމީން !

އެކުވެރިޔާއެވެ! ތިބާވެސް މި އާދުވަހު އާ އުއްމީދަކާއެކު ތެދުވާށެވެ. ފާއިތުވެދިޔަ ތަން ހަނދާންނައްތާލާށޭ ނުބުނާނަމެވެ. އެތަން ހަނދާން ނައްތާލުމުގެ ބަދަލުގައި އެތަނުން ޢިބްރަތް ލިބިގަނެ ކުރިއަށް އާ މަގެއް ކޮށަން ފަށާށެވެ. އެއްވެސް މީހަކު ނުކުރާ މަސައްކަތަކަށް އެމީހަކަށް އިނާމް ނުލިބޭނެއެވެ. ވީމާ ޚުދު ތިބާއަށްޓަކައި ތިބާ މަސައްކަތް ފަށާށެވެ. ރަޙްމަތްތެރިންނާއި ޢާއިލާމީހުންގެ ކިބައިން ހިތްވަރުލިބިގެން ކުރިޔަށް ހިނގަން ފަށާށެވެ. އިރާދަކުރެއްވިއްޔާ ރަނގަޅުވާނެއެވެ.

ނަމަވެސް ތިބާގެ މައްސަލަތައް ނަގާ އެއްފަރާތް ކޮށްފައެއް ނޫނެވެ. އެ މައްސަލަތަކާއި ކުރިމަތިލާށެވެ. އެކަންތައް ޙައްލުކުރާށެވެ. ވަރަށް ރީތިކޮށް ކުނިކަހާ ނިމިގެން އައިސް ބަލާލާއިރު ކޮޓަރީގެ އެއްކަނެއްގައި ވެލިހުރިތަން ފެނުމުން ދެނެއް ނުވާނެއޭ ފަހުންނޭ ސާފުކުރާނީއޭ ހިތާ ފައިފުހި ދަށަށް އެބައި ލާހެން މައްސަލަތަކާ ކުރިމަތިނުލާ ފޮރުވާފައި ކުރިޔަށް ދާން ނުނިކުންނާށެވެ. މަގުގެ ވަކި ހިސާބަކުން އެ މައްސަލަތައް ތިބާގެ ބޮލަށް އުނދަގޫކުރާނެއެވެ. އައިފަހަށް ދިއުމަށް ނަގާ ވަގުތުގެ ސަބަބުން ކުރިޔަށް ދާންވީ ބާރުމިނުގައި ނުދެވޭނެއެވެ. މައްސަލަތައް ޙައްލުކޮށްފައި ކުރިއަށް ހިނގައިގަންނާށެވެ. އިރާދަކުރެއްވިއްޔާ ރަނގަޅުވާނެއެވެ.

ހިނގައިގަންނަން ދަތިވާ ހުރިހާ ކަސްތަޅަކުން ސަލާމަތް ވާން މަސައްކަތް ކުރާށެވެ. އަމިއްލަ ޙަޔާތުގައި މިވަގުތު ހިނގަހިނގާ ހުރި ކަންތައްތަކާއި ޙަޔާތުގައި ޝާމިލުވާ މީހުންގެ މުހިއްމުކަމާއި ބޭކާރުކަމުގެ ހިސާބެއް ހަދާލާށެވެ. ހުއްޓާލަންޖެހޭ ކަންތައްތަކާއި ދޫކޮށްލަންޖެހޭ މީސްމީހުން ވާނެކަން ގައިމެވެ. އެއިން އެއްވެސް ކަމަކުން ހުރަސް އެޅޭނަމަ އެމީސްމީހުންނާ އެކަންކަން ތިބާއާއި ވަކިވިޔަދޭށެވެ. ވިސްނާށެވެ. ތިބާގެ ޙަޔާތަށް ކުރިއެރުމެއް ނުގެނެސްދޭ ކަންތައްތަކާއި މީހުންނާއިއެކު އުޅުމެކޭ، އަމިއްލަ ދެފައިގައި ބަރުހިލައެއް އައްސައިގެން ކަނޑަށް ފުންމާލުމެކޭ ތަފާތެއް އެބައޮތްހެއްޔެވެ؟ ރަނގަޅަށް ވިސްނުމަށްފަހު ހެދި ހިސާބުން ފެންނަ ނަތީޖާއަށް، ކެރިގެން ޢަމަލުކުރާށެވެ. އިރާދަކުރެއްވިއްޔާ ރަނގަޅުވާނެއެވެ.

ތިބާއަށް ޤާއިމުވެ ހުރެވޭނެ އިސްލާޙްތަކެއް ކަނޑައަޅާށެވެ. މީހަކަށްޓަކައެއް ނޫނެވެ. ޚުދު ތިބާއަށްޓަކައެވެ. އެއަށްފަހު އެ އިސްލާޙުތަކުގައި ޤާއިމުވެ ހުންނަން މަސައްކަތް ކުރާށެވެ. އަމިއްލަ ނަފްސު އިސްލާޙް ކުރުމަށްޓަކައި އަޅަން މިއީ ވަރަށް ރަނގަޅު ފިޔަވަޅެކެވެ. ސާބިތުކަމާއެކު ފަށާށެވެ. އިރާދަކުރެއްވިއްޔާ ރަނގަޅުވާނެއެވެ.

އަމިއްލަ ނަފްސަށް ކޮންމެވެސް ކަހަލަ ހެޔޮ ބަދަލެއް ނުވަތަ ތަރައްޤީއެއް ގެންނާށެވެ. އެހެންނާ ނައަޅާކަހަލަ ރީތި ގޮތަކަށް ބުރުގާ އަޅާލާށެވެ. މީރުވަސް ދުވާ ސެންޓެއް ބޭނުންކޮށްލާށެވެ. ހިތްހަމަޖެހޭކަހަލަ ހިތްގައިމު އާ ދެތިން ހެދުން ހޯދާލާށެވެ. މި ނޫނަސް ކޮންމެވެސް ކަހަލަ ތަރައްޤީއެއް ގެންނާށެވެ. ރަނގަޅުގޮތުގައި ކުރާނަމަ މިއިން ކަމަކުން ގޯހެއް ނުނިކުންނާނެއެވެ. އިރާދަކުރެއްވިއްޔާ ރަނގަޅުވާނެއެވެ.

ކޮންމެވެސް ވަރަކަށް ބޭރަށް ނުކުމެލާ، ތަންތަން ބަލާލަން ގޮސްލާ ހަދާލާށެވެ. ކުރިން ކޮށްނުއުޅޭ ކޮންމެވެސް ކަހަލަ މަސައްކަތެއް ނުވަތަ ޝައުޤުހުންނަ ކަމެއް ފަށާށެވެ. ޚުދު ތިބާއަށްވެސް ނޭނގިހުރި ޝައުޤުތައް ތިބާގެ ކިބައިން ތިބާއާއި އެހެން މީހުން ދެކެން ފަށާނެއެވެ. ބޭރަށް ނުކުމެ އުޅެލަން ފެށުމުން އާ ރައްޓެހިންވެސް ލިބޭނެއެވެ. އާ ކަންތައްތަކާއި އާ ތަންތަނަށް ދެވޭނެއެވެ. ނަފްސުގެ އިސްލާޙަށް މަސައްކަތް ކުރާއިރު މިއީވެސް ކޮށްލަން ކެރެންވާނެ ކަންތައްތަކެވެ. ފަށާށެވެ. އިރާދަކުރެއްވިއްޔާ ރަނގަޅުވާނެއެވެ.

ފޮތްކިޔަން ފަށާށެވެ. ފުރަތަމަ ތިބާއަށް އެނގޭ ފޮތަކުންނެވެ. ދެން ނޭނގޭ ފޮތަކުންނެވެ. ވަކި ވައްތަރެއް ނޫނެވެ. ހުރިހާވައްތަރަކުން ފޮތްކޮޅެއް ހޯދާށެވެ. ނުވަތަ ލައިބްރަރީއަށް ގޮސް އިނދެފޮތްކޮޅެއް ކައިރިކޮށްލައިގެން ބަލަން ފަށާށެވެ. ކޮންމެވެސް އެއް ކަހަލަ ފޮތް ކިޔަން ޝައުޤު ނުހުންނާނެ މީހަކު ހުރުމަކީ ވަރަށް ނާދިރު ކަމެކެވެ. ފޮތްކިޔުމުގެ ޝައުޤު އަމިއްލަ ނަފްސުގައި އުފެއްދިއްޖެނަމަ އެ ލިބުނީ ތިބާއަށް ވަރަށް ބޮޑު ކާމިޔާބެކެވެ. މީގެކުރިން ތިބާއަކީ ހަމައެކަނި ސިކުނޑިއެއްނަމަ ފޮތްކިޔަންފެށުމުން ތިބާ އެވަނީ ބުއްދިވެރިސިކުނޑިއެއް ހުރި އިންސާނަކަށެވެ. މީގެ ކުރިން ތިބާއަކީ ބުއްދިވެރިއެއްނަމަ ފޮތްކިޔުމުގެ ސަބަބުން ތިބާ އަކީ ހުސްވުމެއް ނެތްޚަޒާނާއަކަށް ވެގެންދާނެއެވެ. ރަނގަޅު ޢަޒުމަކާއެކު ފަށާށެވެ. އިރާދަކުރެއްވިއްޔާ ރަނގަޅުވާނެއެވެ.

މެދަށް ވަގުތު ދޭށެވެ. ގެނައި ބަދަލުތައް ތިބާގެ ޙަޔާތުގެ މައްޗަށް ތަންފީޒުކުރާށެވެ. އެއަށްފަހު މަޑުޖެހިލާށެވެ. އަމިއްލަ ޙަޔާތަށް ތިބާ ތިގެނައި ބަދަލުތަކާއި ދޭތެރޭ ވިސްނާ ދިރާސާކޮށްލާށެވެ. އެކަންތައްތައް ކުރުމުން ނުވަތަ ނުކުރުމުން އައީ ރަނގަޅުބަދަލެއް ހެއްޔެވެ؟ އެހެންނަމަ ތި ގޮތަށް ކުރިއަށް ދާށެވެ. އައީ ނުރަނގަޅު ބަދަލެއް ހެއްޔެވެ؟ އެހެންވެއްޖިއްޔާ އަދިވެސް އެހެން އިސްލާޙްތައް ގެންނާށެވެ. ހަނދާން ބަހައްޓާށެވެ. ތިމާ ގެންނަ ހުރިހާ ބަދަލަކީ އެންމެ ރަނގަޅު ބަދަލަށް ނުވެދާނެއެވެ. ތިމާއަކީ އެންމެ މޮޅު މީހާއެއް ނޫނެވެ. މި ޙަޤީޤަތް ޤަބޫލުކުރުމުގެ ޤާބިލްކަން ލިބިފައިވާ މީހަކަށް ވާށެވެ.

މުހިއްމު ކަމަކީ ބަދަލުތަކަށް އުއްމީދު ކުރަމުން، ބަދަލުތައް ޤަބޫލުކުރަމުން ބަދަލުވަމުން ތިބާ ދިއުމެވެ. ދިރިއުޅުމުގެ ޙަޤީޤަތަކީ މިއީއެވެ. ކީއްވެކަން އެނގޭހެއްޔެވެ؟ އަހަރެމެން އިންސާނުންނަކީ މާދަމާ ތޯއެވެ؟ ކުރިއަށް އޮތް ގަޑިއިރުތެރޭގައިވެސް އަހަރެމެންގެ ދިރިއުޅުމަށް އަތުވެދާނެ ބަދަލެއް އެނގޭ ބައެއް ނޫން ވީމައެވެ. އަހަރެމެންނަށް ކުރެވޭނީ ތަދުބީރެވެ. ތަޤުދީރު އޮތީ ލިޔުއްވާ ނިންމަވާފައެވެ. މި ދުނިޔެއަކީ އިމްތިޙާނެކެވެ. އުޅޭހާ ދުވަހަކު އޮންނާނީ އިމްތިޙާނުތަކުން ފާސްވާން މަސައްކަތް ކުރުމެވެ. ކޮންމެ ދުވަހެއް އާފެށުމަކުން ފަށަން ޖެހެނީ މިހެން ވީމައެވެ.

އަހަރެމެން ކިހާ ނަސީބުގަދަހެއްޔެވެ؟ ފާއިތުވެދިޔަ ތަނުގައި ކޮންމެ ގޮތަކަށް ކަންތައް ގޮސްފައި އޮތްކަމުގައި ވިޔަސް، އަހަރެމެން ބޭނުންވުމާއެކު، ހިތަށް ހަމަ އެރުމާއެކު، ކޮންމެ ތާކު ތިބެވުނަސް، އެ ހުރި ހިސާބަކުން އަލުން އާ ފެށުމަކުން ފެށުމުގެ ހެޔޮ ނަޞީބު އަހަރެމެންނަށް ލިބިފައިވުން އެއީ ކޮންފަދަ ބޮޑު ރަޙްމަތެއްހެއްޔެވެ؟ ލިބިފައި މިވާ ނިޢުމަތަށް ޝުކުރުކޮށް އުފާކުރަމާ ހިނގާށެވެ.

މިއަދަކީވެސް އާ ދުވަހެކެވެ. ތިބާ ބޭނުން ބަދަލެއް ތިބާގެ ޙަޔާތަށް ގެނެވޭނެއެވެ. ދުވަހާއި ކުރިމަތިލާށެވެ. އާ ޢަޒުމަކާއި، އާ އުއްމީދަކާއިއެކު އާ ގޮތަކަށް ރާވައިގެން ދިރިއުޅުމާއި ކުރުމަތިލުމަށް ގަސްދުކުރަމުން ދުވަސް ފަށަމާ ހިނގާށެވެ.

އެ އިވުނީ ރޭޑިއޯއިން ޤުރުއާން ކިޔަވާ ނިމުނުއަޑެވެ. ހެނދުނު ހަގަޑިބައިވީއެވެ. ދުވަހުގެ ފުރަތަމަ ކުރާ ކައްކަން ދާންވީއެވެ. އެހެން ފަހަރަކުން ދިމާވެލަން ވަކިވެލަމެވެ. އުފާވެރި ބާއްޖަވެރި ދުވަހަކަށް އެދެމެވެ ! 

✩✩✩---✩✩✩

ލިޔުނީ: ފަތިސްތަރި ޞަފާ /  1 ފެބްރުއަރީ 2014